Archive for January, 2017

You Get What You Are

January 31, 2017

Sometimes we think “You are what you do”.  But, the Bible says, “Do what you are”.  The things that we do, flow out who we are.  Our actions emerge out of our inner thoughts and feelings.  The condition of our hearts can be seen in the actions that we take.  When we see words and actions that don’t match who people are, we call them hypocrites.  We look for people whose lives are consistent.  These are people who don’t pretend to be someone they are not.  What you see is what you get.  Teenagers and young people seem to be really good at spotting people who are fake – people who are trying to pass themselves off as something they are not.  So, if we want to pass on our faith to our children, or share our faith in Christ with our family and friends, we will get what we are.

People watch how we live.  People will listen to what we say.  People are looking to see if we are authentic.  Does how we live and what we say actually match who we are.  Are we living a practical faith?  Does our faith make sense in the way we live?  Does it flow naturally from our hearts or does it seem fake and forced?

When we think about passing on our faith to our kids, we want to have a sticky faith.  We want who we are and what we believe to “stick” to other people.  One of the findings of the Sticky Faith research (www.stickyfaith.org) is that you get what you are.  After studying the faith development of more than 3000 young people nationwide from Protestant, Roman Catholic, Jewish, and Mormon families, they discovered that “the best general rule of thumb that parents might use to reckon their children’s most likely religious outcomes is this: ‘We’ll get what we are.’”  In general, the primary influence in a child’s faith trajectory is his or her parents.

There is no magic formula for developing sticky faith in our kids.  There is no money back guarantee that always works for every single person in every single situation.  But, the more that parents live who they really are, the more we are genuine and real and authentic, the more our kids will see that, and the more our faith will “stick” in their lives.

As important as our faith lives are in influencing our kids, multiple studies of teenagers indicate that more important than what parents believe is what teenagers perceive they believe.  If there is a difference between what we believe and what teenagers think we believe, they will be more influenced by what they think we believe.  So, it’s important to verbalize our faith and find ways to clarify what we believe, so that our kids get a clear picture of where we are coming from and why we do what we do.

The quality of our marriages also affects our family’s faith trajectories.  A nationwide study of more than 1,100 adults examining the effects of family of origin on church involvement found a modest association between the marital happiness of a person’s parents and that person’ religious involvement.  In other words, people whose parents had marriages that were more life-giving were also more likely to attend and be involved with a faith community.  But, even when our marriages are struggling, the relational glue of your extended family and the church can help compensate for what’s missing at home.

Some people think that Christianity focuses on a bunch of “do’s” and “don’ts”.  It doesn’t.  It focuses on shaping who you are at the core of your being.  It focuses on your soul, your spirit, your heart, and your mind.  The Holy Spirit is re-shaping who we are.  As this happens, it will eventually change how we live, what we do, and what we don’t do.  But, the re-shaping of our hearts comes first.

This reminds us to do what we are.  If we want our faith to “stick” to our kids, we will get what we are.  People will look at who we are more than what we say or what we do.  If we want to influence our kids towards Jesus, we will get what we are.

 

New Habits for a New Year

January 2, 2017

We have flipped the calendar.  We have celebrated the end of 2016.  We have celebrated the beginning of 2017.  We get a fresh start.  We get a chance to start over, to try again.  So, now, what will we do?  Many people make New Year’s resolutions, but half of those people give up on their resolutions by the end of January.  The key is to develop good habits.  The key is to break bad habits.  We are much more likely to act our way into a new way of thinking, than we are to try to think our way into a new way of acting.  So, where do we begin acting differently?  As we start this New Year, I want to encourage us to begin 3 new habits:

1.This year, I will grow spiritually by ________________.

If you do not yet have a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, then look into this.  Read about Who Jesus is, what He said, and what He did.  Talk to people who believe in Jesus.  Explore it and check it out.

If you are already following Jesus, how can you grow spiritually this year?

Here are some habits to consider:

This year, I will read at least one chapter in the Bible every day.

This year, I will pray at least 5 minutes every day.

This year, I will attend church worship services 3-4 times a month.  (Research shows a significant difference in the strength of people’s faith who attend worship 3-4 times a month over those who only attend 1-2 times a month.)

This year, I will give ____% of my money to the church/missions/charity.

This year, I will take a Sabbath day every week.

These are called spiritual habits or spiritual practices.  If these become regular patterns in your life, you will grow stronger spiritually.

This is about Believing.

 

2.This year, I will grow relationally by ______________________.

Who are one or two people that you want to become better friends with this year?

This year, I will have coffee/lunch with someone once a week.

This year, I will invite someone over to my house to visit once a month.

This year, I will invite at least one unchurched person to come to church with me.  (The average Methodist invites a person to church once every 42 years.  What if all of us invited one person to church every year?)

This year, I will regularly attend a small group or a Sunday School class.

This year, I will call one person on the phone each week to ask them how they are doing or how I can pray for them.

This year, I will reconcile with one person I am estranged from.

This is about Belonging.

 

3.This year, I will grow missionally by __________________________.

How can you serve God in our community?

Where can you serve God in our community?

This year, I will share my faith with one person who does not yet believe in Jesus.

This year, I will talk to one neighbor a month.

This year, I will have a block party to get to know my neighbors.

This year, I will find a need in our community where I can help.

This year, I will participate in one mission effort with our church.

This year, I will donate clothes or food to a local school or mission.

This is about Blessing.

 

As we begin this New Year, I want you to think about 3 things you can do differently this year.  Think about 3 new habits you can start, or 3 current habits you can enhance and expand.  We are more likely to act our way into a new way of thinking, than we are to think our way into a new way of acting.  The quality of our lives has a lot to do with our habits – breaking old bad habits and starting new good habits.  If you become consistent in doing what God wants you to do, and consistent in living in healthy ways, you can live as the salt of the earth and the light of the world.